Angelika Regossi is an author and former international journalist who grew up in Soviet Ukraine and has lived across Europe, Canada, and Asia. She has been based in the Netherlands since 2015. Her writing reflects her experiences of migration, integration, and belonging.
She has shared this article below which draws on her personal experiences of leaving the USSR, moving across several countries, and gradually building a life in the Netherlands. It reflects on how small moments of connection and discovery shape the feeling of belonging for internationals.
In 1988, in Soviet Ukraine, a great artist painted my fear.
I didn’t ask him to. He had been observing me quietly while I worked at the Bokshaj Art Museum in Uzhhorod, where I organized exhibitions and wrote about art. One summer day, he invited me to pose for a portrait. I was in my twenties, silently preparing to leave the Soviet Union, and I never told him. In those years, speaking openly was dangerous; silence was survival.
Yet somehow, through his brushstrokes, he captured what I never said. In the portraits he made, I am a sad young woman. Sad because I knew I would have to leave everything behind: my home, my work, my family, and step into the unknown. It felt like standing on the edge before a parachute jump — thrilling, terrifying, and life-changing all at once.
That moment stayed with me for decades. Years later, after moving across several countries, I settled in the Netherlands. My life here didn’t hinge on dramatic milestones or sudden revelations. It was shaped by small discoveries: learning to navigate Dutch directness and pragmatism, finding joy in simple daily routines, and embracing both rainy writing days and sunny gardening days. These ordinary experiences mattered far more to me than any formal measure of “integration.”
As internationals living in The Hague, many of us know this feeling well. Integration isn’t a single moment of accomplishment. It’s the accumulation of small victories: the first time you successfully navigate the train system without panic, the first Dutch recipe you master, the first neighbor who greets you with warmth rather than suspicion. It’s learning to laugh at misunderstandings, to adjust expectations, and to cherish fleeting moments of connection in an unfamiliar environment.
For me, belonging came slowly. It arrived in the quiet evenings spent walking through the city’s canals, in conversations with friends who became like family, and in the comfort of routines that once felt foreign. And it arrived with the realization that my past — the fear, secrecy, and challenges I carried from the USSR — did not prevent me from building a new life. Instead, it gave me a perspective on resilience and human connection that I carry with me every day.
Every expat’s journey is different, but the common thread is often the same: small moments create the tapestry of home. It’s in the ordinary and mundane that belonging is forged. In a place like The Hague, with its international community, cultural diversity, and daily reminders of being “foreign,” these small moments gain even greater significance.
When I reflect on my own path, I realize that integration is not about erasing your past or fully adopting a new culture. It’s about weaving your experiences into a life that feels authentically yours — learning from the local culture, contributing to the community, and finding ways to feel grounded amidst constant change. Every conversation, every meal shared, every day spent learning something new adds up. These are the moments that make a home.
I hope sharing these reflections encourages fellow internationals to notice the small, often overlooked victories in their own lives. Integration is not a checklist; it’s an accumulation of lived experiences, each small moment a step toward feeling at home.
https://www.youtube.com/@AngelikaRegossi
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Angelika Regossi is the author of Love and Communism: A Woman’s Stories from the Soviet World, available on Amazon
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Communism-Womans-Stories-Communist-ebook/dp/B0GCP1GLD5