In ACCESS Stories this month, Hee Baek shares a thoughtful reflection on the challenge of finding mental health support while living abroad, especially as an international trying to navigate unfamiliar systems while also carrying the pressure of work, identity shifts and constant adaptation.
Her story highlights the importance of finding support early rather than waiting for things to reach crisis point, and shines a light on often overlooked options such as Employee Assistance Programmes (EAPs), which can offer confidential, guided mental health support before burnout takes hold.
ACCESS is a volunteer-run, not-for-profit organisation that has supported the international community in the Netherlands since 1986. English-speaking volunteers provide free, independent information and guidance on living, working and settling in the Netherlands, via a helpdesk, email support and partnerships across the country.
‘It is a celebration of our love, of our life together. Of all the amazing people we met and the fact that we can express all our ideas through photography, through digital manipulation has been endlessly inspiring.’ – Inez & Vinoodh
Featured image above: courtesy of Kunstmuseum
The brand new exhibition at Kunstmuseum Den Haag: Can Love Be a Photograph, is a major retrospective celebrating the forty-year career of the legendary, Dutch-born photographers Inez van Lamsweerde and Vinoodh Matadin. If you’ve picked up a glossy fashion magazine, chances are you’ve seen their work.
This monumental exhibition—consisting of 18 rooms—looks back on the life and creative partnership that these artists have shared since 1986. As pioneers in the field of digital imaging, Inez & Vinoodh occupy a unique position at the intersection of fashion and art, from which they continually push the boundaries of the medium of photography.
Images below: Sherika Rooplal-Clappers
In addition to their artistic work, Inez & Vinoodh have created influential campaigns for leading fashion houses such as Dior, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, and Chanel for decades, and have had global stars like Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Barack Obama, Brad Pitt, and Billie Eilish in front of their cameras.
To this day, the couple are driven by the conviction that a photograph is not a fixed entity, but a malleable surface. The duo pioneered digital image manipulation in the 1990s. For them, this remains the ideal tool to continue developing an image even after the photograph has been taken.
To celebrate the fortieth anniversary of their joint artistic practice, Kunstmuseum Den Haag has invited Inez & Vinoodh to look back on their shared creative lives. The galleries are arranged thematically, with the tension between reality and construction as the common thread. In their works, they create a seductive and alienating world. They challenge you to rethink beauty and authenticity, and to question how identity is formed and experienced.
Above all, Inez & Vinoodh view photography as the ultimate act of love. In their images, it is not so much the subject, but the driving force. Love flows between the artists and their models, bringing the photographs to life from within. After four decades of collaborating, experimenting, and shared authorship, Inez & Vinoodh reveal a simple, clear truth: love can actually be a photograph.
What struck me most after seeing the exhibition, standing in those rooms, was how familiar so many of these images felt — faces and compositions I had absorbed through the pages of fashion magazines for years, now suddenly alive at a scale that stops you in your tracks. Seeing them in person transforms them entirely; what reads as sleek editorial on a printed page reveals itself, in real life, as something far more raw and emotionally charged. These are not just photographs — they are proof that beauty, when made with love, has a way of staying with you long after you have left the room.
Book
The eponymous photobook has been published accompanying the exhibition. In addition to dozens of photographs by Inez & Vinoodh, this book contains contributions by Michael Amzalag & Mathias Augustyniak, Guus Beumer, Francesco Bonami, Pamela Chen, Donatien Grau, Margriet Schavemaker, and Willemijn van der Zwaan, as well as a conversation with Tilda Swinton.
This beautiful edition, designed by MM (Paris) and published by Hannibal Books, is available in the museum shop.
Can Love Be a Photograph – 40 Years of Inez & Vinoodh is on view from 21st March to 6th September 2026.
Images: Sherika Rooplal-Clappers and Kunstmuseum Inez & Vinoodh
Sherika Rooplal-Clappers is a contributing writer for The Hague Online, covering culture, lifestyle, and local events. With a passion for storytelling and international perspectives, she highlights the people, places, and experiences that make The Hague a dynamic city.
Venue provided complimentary food and drinks during Sherika’s visit for this feature. The Hague Online retained editorial control, and the views expressed are the writer’s own
Born out of a love for a New York classic, Netherlands Bagels opened on Korte Molenstraat a few years ago when the original American owner couldn’t find a decent bagel anywhere in the city.
Tucked away on a quiet street, you can expect freshly baked, boiled bagels, homemade drinks, and an all-around wholesome atmosphere. The space feels earthy, warm, and unpretentious — an ideal post-walk stop or low-key meet-up spot.
The menu (which is also 100% halal) features loose bagels in a variety of flavours, including the Everything bagel, cheesy jalapeño, and sesame, alongside salads and sweeter options like blueberry and raisin. You choose a filling — such as salmon and cream cheese or chicken club — then pick which bagel to pair it with. I tried the Bodega (cheese, beef bacon, and scrambled eggs) on an Everything bagel: filling and chewy, just as any good bagel should be. I also tried their sweet bagel, which changes daily — on this occasion, a cinnamon flavour. Both were hearty and flavourful, delivering a taste of New York that will satisfy even the most dedicated bagel enthusiast.
The space was sold to the new Ukrainian owners last year, who have since added desserts to the menu — think honey cake, cheesecake, and cookies. On a sunny day, I’d highly recommend grabbing a takeaway and heading to the nearby Palace Gardens. Pick up some drinks, make it a picnic, and you’ve got a lovely way to spend a weekend afternoon in the city.
Images: Sherika Rooplal-Clappers
Do you have a story about your own café, restaurant or bar in the city? Reach out to sherika@thehagueonline.com to possibly be featured.
Sherika Rooplal-Clappers is a contributing writer for The Hague Online, covering culture, lifestyle, and local events. With a passion for storytelling and international perspectives, she highlights the people, places, and experiences that make The Hague a dynamic city.
Anyone looking for a quiet workspace in The Hague can now visit Het Werkloket in Het Nutshuis – opposite the Grote Kerk. In the former Nutsspaarbank, we have created a unique flexible workspace equipped with all the facilities for a productive workday, for €25 per day, incl. VAT, coffee, and tea.
From bank building to flexible workspace Where customers of the Hague Nutsspaarbank once deposited their savings at the counters, independent professionals now invest their time and ideas in social change. The value of our building no longer lies in savings, but in the plans that move society forward.
Here you work independently, at your own ‘desk’, but never alone. You share a quiet workspace with flex workers who – just like you – use their talents for a better world.
Work peacefully in the heart of The Hague The Werkloket is a flexible workspace in Het Nutshuis, at Riviervismarkt 5, opposite the Grote Kerk, behind the Grote Markt and right next to the shopping and restaurant area in the center of The Hague.
Recharge at the Nutstuin: a true urban oasis in the midst of the city’s hustle and bustle. At Café Soof, adjacent to the garden, you receive a 15% discount on the online lunch menu.
This is what you can expect:
Flexible workspaces, or counters, that can be reserved per day.
A quiet and bright room with large windows and a relaxed atmosphere.
Height-adjustable desks.
Ergonomic chairs.
A good Wi-Fi connection.
Phone booths for telephone calls.
Meeting rooms reservable by the hour
Printing facilities
Unlimited coffee and tea.
Opening hours: Monday to Friday from 8:30 to 17:00.
Receptionist available for all your questions.
Secure, free bicycle parking within walking distance.
Every eight days in the Netherlands, a woman is killed by her current or former partner.
The number has remained largely unchanged for the past fifteen years.
For a modern country that prides itself on equality, safety and the rule of law, this statistic is deeply troubling. Yet the dynamics behind many of these killings are still not widely understood in the Netherlands. One key concept is coercive control.
Understanding this pattern is essential, because femicide rarely happens suddenly.
In many cases, it follows a recognisable trajectory. Homicide is the most extreme outcome of coercive control. Not all abusive relationships escalate to this level. However, research shows that when patterns of control intensify and remain unrecognised, the risk of severe or lethal violence can increase.
Women are most often the victims
Both men and women can become victims of coercive control and partner violence.
However, the vast majority of victims in severe cases are women. More than half of all women murdered in the Netherlands are killed by a current or former partner. For men, the percentage is below five percent. For that reason, discussions about femicide often focus on women.
Another common misconception is that domestic abuse is linked to specific social groups. In reality, coercive control occurs in all layers of society. It is not connected to educational level, nationality, religion, ethnicity or income.
Abusive relationships exist in wealthy neighbourhoods and modest ones, among highly educated professionals as well as among people with fewer resources.
What is coercive control?
Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour in which one partner systematically dominates and isolates the other. Unlike physical violence alone, it operates through psychological, emotional and social control.
It often begins subtly.
At the start of the relationship, the controlling partner may appear intensely loving and attentive. This phase is sometimes described as love bombing: excessive affection, constant contact and a rapid push towards commitment.
Over time, the dynamic shifts.
The controlling partner may begin to isolate their partner from friends and family, monitor communication and movements, manipulate through guilt or threats, undermine the victim’s confidence through gaslighting, create financial dependence, or intimidate and humiliate.
Physical violence may occur later, but coercive control often exists long before that.
Because it is largely psychological, it can remain invisible to outsiders for years.
A pattern recognised worldwide
Research by British criminologist Dr Jane Monckton Smith shows that domestic homicides typically follow a recognisable timeline.
Her eight-stage model demonstrates that partner killings are rarely spontaneous acts of passion. Instead, they often develop through escalating control.
The stages often include a history of stalking or abusive behaviour, a relationship that becomes serious very quickly, the establishment of coercive control, and a trigger event such as separation or the victim regaining independence.
This is often followed by escalation, increased stalking or threats, contemplation of homicide, planning and eventually the killing itself.
This research challenges the widespread myth that domestic killings happen in a sudden emotional outburst. In many cases, they are the final stage of a long process of control.
Intimate terror: the hidden form of domestic violence
Dutch experts increasingly use the term intieme terreur (literally translated as “intimate terrorism”) to describe severe forms of coercive control.
In these relationships, one partner systematically dominates the other through manipulation, threats and psychological violence.
Victims often describe a gradual loss of autonomy. Their partner may control daily decisions, finances, social contacts and sometimes even access to their own children.
If the victim tries to leave the relationship, the situation may escalate dramatically.
Separation is one of the most dangerous moments in an abusive relationship.
A difficult reality: most perpetrators appear “normal”
One of the most unsettling aspects of coercive control is that many perpetrators do not fit a clear psychological profile.
Most do not have a mental disorder.
They often appear socially competent, successful and respected in their professional or social environment. To outsiders, they may seem charming, calm or reasonable.
This can make it extremely difficult for victims to be believed.
It also explains why coercive control can continue for years before professionals recognise what is happening.
Slowly changing awareness in the Netherlands
For a long time, the Dutch legal system and support organisations had limited awareness of coercive control as a distinct pattern of abuse.
It took the work of several trailblazing lawyers, researchers and advocates – many of them women – to place coercive control on the agenda of courts, policymakers and support organisations.
Institutions such as Veilig Thuis (the Dutch national advice and reporting centre for domestic violence), the Raad voor de Kinderbescherming (Child Protection Board), and the judiciary are gradually incorporating this knowledge into their work.
The goal is to improve recognition of abuse patterns and provide more effective protection for victims and children.
Important steps have been taken in recent months. At the same time, many professionals are still learning how to recognise patterns of psychological abuse and how to respond to them. As knowledge spreads, the hope is that victims will receive more consistent and better-informed support.
A gap between criminal law and family law
Another challenge lies in the way domestic abuse is assessed in different legal contexts.
In criminal law, the focus is primarily on safety and violations of legal rules. Violence and threats are evaluated as offences that must be investigated and prosecuted.
Family law operates differently. Here, courts often focus on maintaining parental contact and encouraging cooperation between former partners. Mediation or communication between parents is frequently encouraged.
For victims of coercive control, this can be deeply problematic.
A woman who refuses mediation because it exposes her to further control may appear uncooperative in court. Meanwhile, psychological abuse may receive less attention because it is harder to prove than physical violence.
Many experts therefore argue that courts should pay closer attention to patterns of behaviour, not only to communication between partners.
In other words: actions should matter more than words.
Recognising the signs
One of the biggest challenges is that coercive control often remains invisible for a long time.
Friends, neighbours and even professionals may only see fragments of what is happening.
Victims themselves may struggle to recognise the pattern, particularly when manipulation and gaslighting have undermined their confidence.
Learning to identify early warning signs can therefore be crucial.
For example, a relationship that develops extremely quickly may deserve a closer look. If a new partner overwhelms someone with intense attention, gifts and declarations of love while pushing for rapid commitment – moving in together, pregnancy or marriage – this may feel romantic, but it can also be an early warning sign of control.
Slowing down the pace of a relationship can sometimes reveal how a partner reacts when they do not get immediate control.
Seeking help
Leaving an abusive relationship can be complex and emotionally difficult. It can also be dangerous. The moment a victim attempts to leave is often when the perpetrator feels their control slipping away, which may trigger escalation.
In the Netherlands, several organisations provide support for victims of domestic violence. One of the most important contact points is Veilig Thuis, the national advice and reporting centre for domestic abuse.
If you suspect that someone in your environment may be experiencing abuse, you can contact Veilig Thuisfor advice or to make a report. Reports from friends, neighbours or professionals can be particularly valuable. Victims of coercive control are sometimes not immediately believed, because psychological abuse can be difficult to recognise. When people around them also raise concerns, it can help professionals understand the situation more quickly.
Supporting someone in an abusive relationship requires patience and care. Victims often develop highly refined instincts for reading the perpetrator’s moods and reactions. What may seem irrational to outsiders – for example staying in the relationship despite violence – may actually be a survival strategy.
For this reason, support is often more helpful than advice. Listening, believing and remaining available can be more valuable than telling someone what they should do.
Legal support
In situations involving coercive control, mediation is usually not appropriate. Mediation assumes a relatively equal relationship between two parties who can negotiate with each other. In abusive relationships, that balance is absent.
In such cases, legal advice can be an important step. A specialised family lawyer can help assess the situation, explain legal options and discuss what evidence may be relevant in court.
Legal support alone cannot solve the complex emotional and social consequences of abuse. However, lawyers often work together with other professionals and can point victims towards additional resources such as shelters, counselling services, support groups and local assistance programmes.
For international residents, language barriers can make this process even more difficult. Multilingual legal professionals can help bridge this gap by explaining the Dutch legal system and available support in a language victims feel comfortable with.
Platforms such as Counselr connect expats with lawyers who speak their language and understand the legal landscape in the Netherlands.
Understanding your rights and knowing where to turn for support can be an important first step towards safety and independence.
Picture: Screenshot of the Coercive Control – Where is the line? YouTube video from the North-Ireland Ards and North Down Borough Council on coercive control.
When we think about comfort in our homes and buildings, we usually focus on temperature, insulation, or interior design. However, one of the most important factors for comfort and health is often overlooked: the quality of the air we breathe. Proper ventilation is essential for maintaining both a healthy indoor environment and a durable, well-functioning building.
Ventilation is the process of continuously replacing indoor air with fresh outdoor air. This may sound simple, but it plays a crucial role in removing pollutants that naturally build up indoors. Every day, people release carbon dioxide (CO₂) simply by breathing. Cooking, showering, cleaning, and even sleeping add humidity and fine particles to the air. Without sufficient ventilation, these substances accumulate, leading to stale, unhealthy indoor air.
The impact of poor ventilation on human health should not be underestimated. High CO₂ levels are known to cause headaches, fatigue, and difficulty concentrating. Many people recognize the feeling of drowsiness in a poorly ventilated room, especially in bedrooms, offices, or classrooms. In addition to CO₂, indoor air can contain fine particles and airborne microorganisms such as viruses and bacteria. If fresh air is not supplied regularly, these pollutants remain in the air longer, increasing the risk of respiratory complaints and the spread of infectious diseases.
Ventilation is also essential for controlling indoor humidity. Moisture is constantly released into the air through everyday activities like cooking, showering, and drying laundry. If this moisture cannot escape, humidity levels rise. Over time, this can lead to condensation on windows and cold surfaces, creating ideal conditions for mold growth. Mold not only damages walls, ceilings, and furniture, but can also cause serious health problems, especially for people with allergies, asthma, or weakened immune systems. By removing moist air and replacing it with drier outdoor air, ventilation helps maintain a healthy balance.
The benefits of ventilation extend beyond human health to the building itself. Modern homes are often built to be highly airtight in order to reduce energy loss. While this improves energy efficiency, it also means that moisture and pollutants can easily become trapped inside. Without proper ventilation, this can result in long-term damage such as wood rot, corrosion of metal components, and deterioration of insulation materials. Effective ventilation helps keep building structures dry and prevents costly repairs over time.
Traditionally, ventilation was achieved simply by opening windows. While this can help, it is not always practical or effective. Weather conditions, outdoor noise, security concerns, and energy loss all limit how often windows are opened. As a result, many homes and buildings now rely on mechanical ventilation solutions that work continuously in the background.
Here, a ventilator is used to extract indoor air from the toilet, bathroom and kitchen, which reduces indoor air pressure slightly. This allows fresh outdoor air to enter the (bed)rooms through trickle vents. Although mechanical ventilation is a step-up from natural ventilation (using windows en vents alone), the constant replacement of air through the whole house can cause an large heat loss in winter.
Modern ventilation systems can also be combined with heat-recovery technology. This allows heat from outgoing air to be reused to warm incoming fresh air, keeping energy consumption low while still providing continuous ventilation. In this way, comfort, health, and sustainability go hand in hand.
However, many older dwellings only have a mechanical ventilation system. Here, in order to minimize heat loss, yet still allow fresh air to enter the house, VentiBalance provides a solution. This system uses CO₂ levels to control the supply of fresh air on a room-by-room basis. Sensors measure the air quality in each room and automatically adjust the amount of incoming fresh air. When CO₂ levels rise—such as in a bedroom during the night or a living room when several people are present—the system increases ventilation. When a room is empty or air quality is already good, ventilation is reduced. The VentiBalance system can be applied to existing trickle vents and can be applied by the home owner self (DIY).
This approach ensures that fresh air is delivered exactly where and when it is needed, without unnecessary energy loss. Because the system responds directly to actual air quality, it maintains a healthy indoor environment automatically, without occupants having to remember to open windows or adjust settings.
In conclusion, ventilation is a fundamental requirement for healthy living and durable buildings. By constantly replacing indoor air with fresh outdoor air, ventilation removes CO₂, excess humidity, fine particles, and airborne pathogens. This improves comfort, protects health, and preserves the building itself. With smart, CO₂-controlled systems such as VentiBalance, good indoor air quality can be achieved automatically and efficiently, while minimising the heat loss, making healthy air a natural part of everyday life.
This article is written in collaboration with Ventibalance, a company based in the Netherlands that focuses on improving indoor air quality through balanced ventilation systems. After being part of a pilot to experience their system at home and meeting the team behind it here in The Hague, we invited them to share this article with our community. They are happy to explain the system to you in English and how it may be installed in your home in The Hague: https://www.ventibalance.com
